27th May 2011

Dear Jeremy

 

“IT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAY BUT THE WAY THAT YOU SAY IT”

THE ART OF NON VERBAL NETWORKING

Those of us with any experience in the business of selling our products and services have learned that much of what we communicate to our customers, clients, colleagues and networking partners takes place before we even utter a word. We say a lot about what we are thinking and feeling without even being aware we are saying it. But how does this happen?

There is still a lot we don’t know about how communication works, but in at least three areas we can make some kind of educated guess. For those of us who use networking as one of our business development tools, we should be aware of the signals we send out just by entering a room and we should learn how to make those signals as clear and persuasive as possible in order to build rapport and trust

INTUITION:

Human resource experts tell us that they usually know within the first two or three minutes of an interview whether the candidate will be suitable for the job. The remaining forty minutes or so is taken up with confirming that first impression. Similarly, upon meeting someone for the first time, most of us form a reasonably accurate assessment of his or her personality within the first few minutes, starting even before the first word is uttered. Obviously, in this short space of time we are unable to form these first impressions rationally and, therefore, what we use to guide us is our intuition. We don’t consciously analyse “that person is wearing a tailored suit and highly polished shoes and is therefore fastidious about appearance and likely to be a perfectionist in dealing with details”. No, what we do is unconsciously feel them almost instantaneously and instinctively. Of course our experiences and rationality tell us that our first impressions are not always correct and we should be ready to alter our assessment if new evidence comes to light, but our natural “working model” is driven by intuition, at least at the start of a new relationship.

So how does this intuition work? What forms its basis? Well we all know that we communicate with each other in many non-verbal ways and because these forms of communication tend to be much faster than the spoken word, not requiring us to pay constant attention in order to assimilate them, we are able to interpret them much more rapidly. A familiar example is body language. For years professionals have studied and described how we communicate by our posture, gesture, head position, eye movement and other such actions. The signals we send are mostly about mood, emotion and attitude, but more explicit messages, as well as more subtle ones, are routinely sent and received without the use of words. The secret is to become more aware of our unspoken communications so the messages we send are true reflections of who we are and how we wish to be perceived.

INTENT:

All great coaches and mentors assert the importance of having purpose in our lives. Before going into a networking situation, make sure you know your purpose. If your underlying purpose is to exploit the group, you will communicate differently, both verbally and non-verbally, than if you intend to give to the group. A good networker will enter the networking arena with the intention to benefit others uppermost in their minds and, through adopting this strategy, will almost certainly receive benefit in return.

We are, at most times in our lives, a dynamic mixture of intentions. We seek to do good for others, and at the same time we seek personal benefits in many different forms. When we attend networking events our attention instinctively and constantly jumps from one situation to another, searching for opportunities that favour us. To fix your intention firmly on benefitting others, it is useful to organise your thoughts beforehand by formulating, in writing, a clear statement of your main purpose. Focusing on your number–one priority helps you push your many other impulses into the background.

With your attention and intentions thus focused, you will communicate clearly and unambiguously your willingness to help others solve problems and satisfy needs. You will feel more self- confident and you will be open to the messages, verbal or non-verbal of others. And they will sense it and be attracted to you. Your message will foster trust and rapport with your networking partners, establishing strong mutually beneficial relationships.

INTEGRITY:

Integrity – “wholeness, soundness, uprightness, honesty”, according to the Oxford English Dictionary – is the crucial feature of non-verbal communication. It is where our intuition meets the other person’s messages and intentions and tells us whether they are trustworthy.

We have all experienced the situation of being trapped by someone who is all smiles and concerns about our health and how our business is doing, but who in other ways communicates such a profound lack of sincerity that we cannot wait to get away from them. Their body language and attitude tell us clearly that their intentions don’t match their words and they are only seeking their own personal benefit. It’s like the telemarketer who calls you at the most inconvenient time and greets you with a cheery, but totally insincere “and how are you this evening, Mr Smith?”

Just as we are repelled by the person approaching us with mixed messages, we form an instant rapport with someone who approaches us with integrity and authenticity. In our personal lives, when we are keen to start a relationship with someone it is quite usual that, when we meet them for the first time, we will offer them a small gift or something that sends a message of our good intentions.   For the networker, what could be a more authentic message than “I would like to be your friend and you to be mine. I believe we will both benefit from this and I would like to start this friendship by doing something for you”. If you can communicate this message to others both verbally and non-verbally, with integrity, you will easily form valuable, rewarding, long-lasting networking relationships.

So if you would like to refine your approach to networking why not have a look at the free material available on our website: www.SatNav4Business.com and consider Networking from the point of view that it is by developing relationships that we build rapport and trust, by helping others that we are helped ourselves and that givers gain.............eventually - not overnight!

Why not try out your new or improved Networking ideas at one of the events listed opposite, all of which offer an opportunity to meet other businesses and form new relationships.

If you have any questions, want to talk through your ideas, or want some help in looking at any of the above issues please call SatNav4Business on 0845 468 1 468, email success@SatNav4Business.com or complete the contact form at www.SatNav4Busienss.com   As ever we provide an initial meeting (virtual or face to face depending on timing etc) of an hour for Newsletter readers- thirty minutes for everyone else.

News from SatNav4Business

Jerry Irving elected President of Kingston Chamber of Commerce

 

At their recent AGM in the Market House Kingston upon Thames Jerry was inducted as President of Kingston Chamber having been on the Board for last two and a half years. In his speech he outlined how the huge change in Public Sector funding has affected many areas, none the least the provision of future enterprise and business support services through organisations like Business Link. He went on to say that the Government would now like enterprise initiatives and business support to be managed locally and it has cited the importance of Local Authorities, Chambers of Commerce and the private sector working together as Local Enterprise Partnerships to do this.

 

He commented “I believe this is a great opportunity for Chambers of Commerce and their members and partners to take back control over how business services are delivered in their boroughs. However, it is likely that the days of FREE business support will soon be gone as less and less money is available to funds enterprise contracts and we will all have to approach the challenges of stimulating enterprise and nurturing our local SMEs in a far different way. Business Support Organisations and the business community cannot expect the public purse to fund our enterprise training as it has done previously”.

 

Jerry will be speaking more on the subject of developing local business support initiatives at the Kingston Business Enterprise Event on 30th June 2011 to be held at KWCI in Kingston

 

If you would like to chat through your thoughts, call us for a free meeting or call of up to one hour for Newsletter readers (usually up to half an hour) on 0845 468 1 468 or email us on:
jeremy.webb@SatNav4Business.com,
jerry.irving@Satnav4Business.com or
steve.mathews@SatNav4Business.com

We hope to see or hear from you soon

Jeremy, Jerry and Steve

Wherever you are on your business journey SatNav4Business can help you to arrive at your chosen destination!

From free downloads. Fact sheets, guides, reviews and online support to workshops and in depth face to face bespoke solutions, the choice is YOURS... 

 

Dates for the Diary

Wandsworth Chamber Raising Finance workshop - Wed June 8th 17.30 – 19.30

 

Workspace group Ltd, Morie Street Business Centre, 4, 5 & 6 Morie Street, SW18 1SL.  Two minutes from Wandsworth Town Train station.

Are you having difficulty raising finance for your business? Have you been refused funding from your bank?

Steve Mathews who has many years experience helping businesses raise finance.  He meets lending managers on a regular basis and will share with you what makes a successful finance proposal.

Often businesses fail to raise finance, not because they are not credit worthy but simply because they don’t present a professional enough case to lenders. If you would like to find out about your options for raising finance and how you can improve your chances of securing the funding you need to maximise your business potential - then this workshop is for you

 

What you will you find out about?

  • Hear from experienced business finance specialists about what funders look for when lending
  • Q&A Session  with representatives from Lloyds –TSB and METRO Bank  -ask commercial lending managers how they assess applications and what you can do to improve your chances of securing a loan. 
  • Learn about a new government mentoring programme to help you become finance ready
  • A new government initiative will also be launched as this event that provides for up to 40 hours of mentoring support to qualifying businesses to help them create a successful business case to their bank.

Light refreshments will be provided.  Sign-up at:
www.wandsworthchamber.org/events


Members £10, Non-members £20.
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Kingston Chamber Networking Breakfast Thursday 9th June 08.00-09.30

Don’t be late for this Networking Breakfast Cruise starting from Turk’s Pier, Thameside, Kingston KY1 1PX (parking in John Lewis car park) or you’ll quite literally miss the boat! 

We’ll be setting off at just after 8.00am when you will be able to enjoy the scenery along the Thames, with like-minded business owners, all keen to see how you can either supply them with your product, service or expertise.

Bring plenty of business cards; drop one into the prize draw and win the chance to present your business in the minute to win it draw! Contact Wanda on 020 8541 4441 for further details and to book or go to www.kingstonchamber.co.uk
and book on line. Members £20 Non Members £30

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Institute of Directors Surrey Branch Guildford PubHub Thursday 9th June 18.00-20.00

The previous informal get togethers in Guildford, Dorking and Reigate were most successful and the idea is to offer a monthly opportunity for informal networking across the branch catchment area. Come and unwind after work and enjoy a relaxing drink at the Boatman, Millbrook, Guildford GU1 3XJ. Free event, cash bar, no need to book.         
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Institute of Directors Surrey Branch Finance Forum Friday 10th June 7.00-9.00am

With the change in catchment area to the whole of Surrey this has a new venue located in the centre of the patch in Leatherhead at Federation House, Highbury Drive, Leatherhead KT22 7UY. This is the new HQ and Conference & Training Centre of the Police Federation and trains people from around the world. Leatherhead is easily accessed from the M25, A3 & A24 and by train from Croydon, Dorking, Epsom, Guildford and Sutton with trains running into London Victoria and Waterloo.

This forum is for anyone who has an interest in the financial or commercial aspects of business and not just finance professionals. It is intended to be a good meeting of minds, much generous sharing of information, astute discussion of topics raised by participants and opportunities to enlarge your own network but without any big “sell” spoiling really good conversations.

Members £10+VAT and non members £20+VAT this includes a full cooked breakfast. Book on 02380 266548 (members can also book at www.iod.com )

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Leatherhead Chamber Networking Breakfast Tuesday 14th June 7.30-9.15am

Hosted by The Police Federation, Federation House, Highbury Drive, Leatherhead. KT22 7UY

Price: £10 per person. Email events@leatherheadchamber.co.uk to confirm your attendance.
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Surrey IoD Reigate Breakfast Club Wednesday 15th June 07.00 for 7.20-8.59

Bridge House Hotel, Reigate Hill, Reigate, Surrey RH22 9RP This is a spin off from the Guildford Breakfast Club where there is always a discussion topic and this makes the 8.59 Club quite different from many other events. Try it and see! It will take place on Wednesdays around the middle of each month Members £15+VAT Non Members £25.00+VAT. Book on 02380 266548 (members can also book at www.iod.com )

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Surrey Chambers East Surrey Business Breakfast Wednesday 15th June 08.30-09.30

 

Epsom Golf Club, Longdown Lane South, Epsom KT17 4JR. Come and join in at these regular informal breakfasts. There are no speakers, they are designed to give you a regular opportunity to meet and discuss local issues and widen your own network of customers, suppliers, neighbours and competitors. It’s a great way to start the day, meet new people and get well fed into the bargain

Members £14, Non Members £22 book at www.surrey-chambers.co.uk

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Kingston Chamber Women in Business Networking Lunch Thursday 16th June 12.30-14.30

 

The French Table, 85, Maple Road, Surbiton KT6 4AU Join us for some fabulous food at this delightful restaurant.  There will be plenty of opportunity for networking, so come prepared with a good supply of business cards. If you have not been to The French Table before you are in for a treat! The price includes a choice of two course lunch, a glass of wine and coffee. Winner of the Good Food Guide’s Best London Restaurant in 2010! Cost Members: £25 Non-members: £35

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Surrey Chambers Elmbridge Business Breakfast Club Thursday 23rd June 07.30-09.00

 

Hilton Hotel, Seven Hills Road South, Cobham KT11 1EW. Members £14, Non Members £22. Book on line at www.surreychambers.co.uk  for further info see entry above for Epsom event.
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Surrey IoD Guildford Breakfast Club Friday 24th June 07.00 for 7.20-8.59

Guildford Cathedral Refectory “Visual Methods of Generating and sharing IdeasThere is always a discussion topic and this makes the 8.59 Club quite different from many other events. Try it and see! Members £15+VAT Non Members £25.00+VAT. Book on 02380 266548 (members can also book at www.iod.com )

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Surrey IoD Pimms on the Lawn Friday 24th June 19.00 – 23.00

Watts Gallery Down Lane Guildford GU3 1DQ We’re pleased to present this fantastic evening for the enjoyment of our members and we encourage you to bring your partners along to make this a really special evening at one of Surrey’s finest Galleries. Don’t miss the first social event to be held at the Watts Gallery following its official re-opening.   You’ll be welcomed with a glass of Pimms and the chance to socialise on the lawns outside the Gallery. In addition to a sumptuous barbecue we will have exclusive use of the Gallery for the whole evening providing the perfect setting to mingle with fellow IoD members and their partners in this social event. Throughout the evening “Acoustic Jazz” will be playing some traditional jazz and blues tunes in the background to ensure the evening has the right buzz. Cost Members (& Partners) £50 each (+VAT), Non-members £65 each (+VAT). Book before Monday 20th June.

 

To find out more email Polly Buckley, Branch Administrator at admin.surrey@iod.net or call her on 020 8398 9643

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Kingston Chamber Business Enterprise Partnership Event Thursday 30th June 11.00- 15.30

 

During this seminar and mini expo Chamber members, across a wide range of sectors, will talk about how you can grow your business. Areas covered will include law, marketing, IT and more.

 

In addition Christine Bryant, head of Wundamann Advertising’s contract call centre, will tell you how she helps SME owners understand the main principles of business growth. She will address the resource and research requirements for any small business, how to select and use data that is freely available - and how to overcome objections to create a campaign approach to new business which is both productive and profitable. Christine has in excess of 20 years operational management experience working for blue chip organisations in various sales and service contact centre environments.

 

By visiting the many stands you will be able to receive face-to-face advice. There will also be plenty of opportunity to network over lunch, with a cash bar. Cost Members: £25.00 Non-members: £35.00

 

If you are interested in speaking or taking a stand, call the office on 020 8541 4441 for further details.

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